upsettingshorts:

animalstalkinginallcaps:

“EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE”? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? THEN EVERYONE IS UGLY TO SOMEONE TOO, SO YOUR SUGARY BROMIDE IS ESSENTIALLY MEANINGLESS!

‘I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL’ IS SOMEONE’S FAVORITE BOOK. LET’S JUST SCRAP SHAKESPEARE AND START TEACHING TUCKER MAX IN HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH!

I’M ALL FOR POSITIVE SELF IMAGE BUT LET’S GET SERIOUS! EVERYONE CANNOT BE BEAUTIFUL. THAT’S WHY WE MADE THE WORD BEAUTIFUL. HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR ME AS A SELF-AWARE ADULT NOT TO SPEW HALLMARK SLOGANS AT ME LIKE I’VE NEVER SEEN A MIRROR! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

I want to buy this little turtle (Tortoise? No Idea) a really tiny beer